Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important aspect of any marriage.  I thought I was going to have an issue writing tonight, because I got hurt again.  But part of my therapy is recognizing when I’m overreacting.  Not in those words, but that.  So tonight, I give you another list of three things I’m thankful for.

8.  Dale has soft hair.  I like running my fingers through it.
9.  I like holding his hand.  It’s strong, and makes me happy.
10.  He knows how to say I’m sorry.  And he’s willing to do so when he’s in the wrong.
11.  He always lets me know when he’s running late.
12.  He crinkles his whole face and his eyes when he smiles.
13.  He has a nice smile.

Alright.  I’m headed out to rehearsal tonight.  This season has been tough on me.

Hugs,
Melinda

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I need an interesting title here.

Day 2 of learning to respect my husband again. I’m very sleepy.  It’s been a long day at work and VBS, but I need to train myself to do this everyday.  So I’m going to make it short and sweet.

4. He enjoys musicals and classical music.
5. He is a comfortable shoulder to cry on.
6. He makes me laugh.  Even when I don’t want to.  I tell the “dad jokes,” but he is just corny.
7. He is supportive in my search for a new career.

Alright.  Time for bed or something….

Hugs,
Melinda

Respect

I’m just going to say it.  There’s no beating around the bush, and there’s no easy way to say this.  Dale and I have been having trouble.  Serious trouble.  It seems like we are fighting all the time.  Or if we’re not fighting, then we’re not talking or something else that causes issues.

And all this time, I thought it was his fault.  He wasn’t listening, he wasn’t talking, he this, he that.

Last night, after I got off work, I was listening to K-Love.  The show is “Closer Look.”  But the topic last night was “Man-talk on Marriage.”  (For future reference, if you go to that page, you are looking for the week of 7/10/2017 – 7/16/2017.)  Yes, it is men talking about marriage.

And it got me.  It really truly convicted me.

Dale hasn’t been wrong.  It’s been me.  He’s doing his best, and I’m not listening.

More than that, I haven’t been respecting him.

Ephesians 5:33 says “ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”  These men were saying that it was easier for women to love their husbands, because that’s in their nature.  But they think they are respecting their husbands, and really aren’t.

One of the men that was speaking told a story about a wife who bought a journal and tried to keep a record of something that she was grateful for or appreciated about her husband, and gave it to him after a year.  He was blown away that she did that.

And I got to thinking:  Why can’t I do the same?

I have been convicted that I have been very negative towards my husband.  He hurt me, and instead of forgiving him, I have been lashing out and finding other things, little minute detail type things, to hold against him.

And that can not be.  Not in a healthy marriage, anyway.

So after I had a heart to heart with myself and with God, I decided that I know the way this blog will be going for the foreseeable future.  I will be doing the Joy Dare again, only I will be trying to find three things about Dale that I am grateful for.

If you are a friend of his, please don’t mention this to him.  Let my change of attitude become present in my actions.  Let me surprise him.

If you are a friend of mine, please hold me accountable.  I need it.  And I also need your prayers, that I will maintain this, and that I will be truly changed, and that our marriage will become richer and fuller.

For God’s glory. May we become as Christ and his church.

Hugs, Melinda

I can’t believe I almost hit publish without three things for today.

  1. He works hard. He isn’t at VBS tonight because he’s working.
  2. He is a great singer. I love his voice and singing with him.
  3. He’s a good father. He truly loves his girls.

FMF – Blessing

I know.  I know.  It’s not Friday.  It’s not even Thursday, which is when I usually write my FMF post.  But I’m trying to catch up and start being consistent.  Part of that whole life change thing I wrote about earlier today.  So in the spirit of trying to start writing on a consistent basis, I’m going to add my contribution to the FMF word from last week.  And hopefully I will remember to add this week’s once it is posted.

Speaking of Five Minute Fridays, did you see that there is now a dedicated website, and that it is GORGEOUS?  I know I will enjoy being there on a regular basis.

On to the word, which is Blessing.

GO.

Blessings.  I have so many.  In fact, I spent over a year counting them.  That’s the purpose of the Joy Dare and the book that Ann Voskamp wrote.  It’s called One Thousand Gifts.  I have them listed in my tags.  Just search for #1000Gifts if you’re interested in what I count as a blessing.

Because I need to go back and read through them.  I find myself being so negative lately.  Towards Dale, towards the girls, towards my job, and towards people in general.  But that’s not how it’s supposed to be.  I’m supposed to be grateful.  Grateful Everyday.  The name of this blog.  That’s what I’m supposed to do.  And yet, I don’t always feel grateful.

But I’m going to change.  I’m thankful for my husband, his love for me, and his job that allows us a good home and good health insurance.  I’m thankful for my girls, all three of them.  From the youngest who makes me laugh, to the oldest who makes me think and reason better, to the middle who is just a good friend.  I’m thankful for my sister and the love of our parents and the example they gave us.  I’m thankful for my church where we have chosen our friends and become family.

STOP

That’s it.  That’s my five minutes.  I’m sure I could go on, but I’m going to hold back.  I’m going to try to include at least one blessing, one gift per post.  I see this blog becoming more of a journal or writing exercise type of blog.  I could be wrong.  But my immediate goal is to simply write, to try to write every day, but to write.

And when I do, I will try to be grateful.

Hugs,
Melinda

Begin Again

My life is so incredibly busy right now, but one thing is painfully obvious.

I need to be grateful.

I need to count my blessings, and I need to remember why I’m thankful.  So…  I’m starting again.

  1. A new job
  2. Computers
  3. Good friends
  4. Family

I’ll try to write more later this week, but that’s my starting point.

Hugs,
Melinda