Busy, busy, busy

Here I am at the end of the third week at my new job, and it still amazes me that I got it.  I don’t have the experience, I barely have the knowledge, so how in heck do I get hired??

I’ve also learned more about something called imposter syndrome.  It’s a new term to me, but the more I read about it, the more I’m convinced that I’ve been suffering with it my whole life.  You may know it by it’s other name:  Low self esteem.  Here’s an article for you to read.

That what imposter syndrome is.  It’s defined as not feeling worth and constantly having to prove one’s self.  Sounds an awful lot like low self esteem.  (Here’s an article on confidence quotes.)

I must make a confession.  I’m writing this at work.  By hand.  Because I’m sitting and watching and asking questions.  This type of training is new to me.  I’m much more used to a different type of training.  Much more reading and testing and hands on training.  Having to sit and be patient while I’m learning is a new experience for me.

I’m learning all sorts of new terms and software and acronyms and … all sorts of stuff.  I would share some of the alphabet soup with you, but I’m not sure what’s proprietary and what’s not.

Tomorrow also starts a new adventure for me.  I’m going to be a part of DjangoGirlsKC for the first time and learn all about Python.  Or at least start to learn about it.  While I’ve played with Scratch from MIT, I’ve never really explored coding in depth.  It should be interesting!

I have new ideas about my new career path.  I’m contemplating network engineer.  It’s a big, scary word and I might not ever achieve it, but I am considering it.  Why not?  I won’t reach it if I don’t try.  Right?

I have new acquaintances:   a grandmother, a couple of nerds and geeks, at least 4 veterans, and a member of the church.

I have a cubicle of my very own.  That’s new.  I’ve never had my own space before.  I know some people don’t like that, but I’m having fun decorating my little space, and making it “mine.”

I have logins and a computer.  I have 3 monitors, which is a new experience.  I have a headset.  I have drawers.

I have stability.  I know the times I’m working.  I don’t have any question about my paycheck.  It’s going to be a set amount.  As long as I work 40 hours a week, I get the same amount, every week.

My one word was given to me as new.  I didn’t even choose it, it was given to me by a friend.  (Thanks Mollie.)  As I look over the past 6 months, I can see how right she was.  This is a season of new for me.

And at the same time, it’s still a season of prayer, my word from last year.  In this time of new, I find myself turning more and more to the old, trustworthy word of God.

By the way, do you like my new Bible?  I finally got a journaling Bible so that I can draw in my Bible without covering up the words.


In turning to the old, I’m discovering new truths.

And isn’t that the way a relationship is supposed to be?

May we all discover the newness of God’s word.  May we fall in love with His truth again and again and again.

In Him,

FMF – Secret

Well, hello there.  It’s only been a month.  I’ve been so busy that my little bitty blog kind of gets ignored.  I’m sorry about that.

So I’m jumping back in to writing with Five Minute Friday.  I’ll write on the prompt tonight and then tomorrow, I’ll try to write a catch up post.  A lot has happened in a month.

So Five Minute Friday is hosted over at the Five Minute Friday blog.  She gives us a one word prompt that we all write on for 5 minutes at a time, no editing.  Then you go back to her blog, you link up and you comment on the post ahead of you.  Let me think…  I think that’s all of the important things.  Link, prompt, blog, comment… Yep, that’s it.

Today’s prompt is SECRET.


And GO:

I have a secret.  I have a huge sweet tooth.  Of course, that’s probably obvious if you’ve ever met me.  My size sort of gives it away.  But I love candy.

I have a secret.  I love to take pictures of people.  I’m not that great at it, but I love doing it.  I’ve been taking pictures for what feels like a long time.  It’s fun to see where I used to be, and where I’m coming up to.

I have a secret.  I watch R-rated movies sometimes.  The language is rough, and there’s a lot of unnecessary violence usually.  But sometimes there is a good story buried in there.

I have a secret.  I have always wanted to be a writer.  But I’ve never had anyone tell me my writing is good.  I have a dreadful fear of green ink because of the editing an English teacher did.

I have a secret.  I fight depression.  It’s more than just feeling “sad” at times.  It can be an overwhelming crushing weight on my soul.  I often have to remind myself of why I am still around and why I still choose to live.

I have a secret.  I am a sinner.  My sin doesn’t look like your sin.  That’s because it’s my sin.  I will own what I have done wrong.  I confess it before God.

And because He loves me, He forgives me.  Not because of anything I did, but because of who He is.  He is the Lord of all.  He sent Jesus to take my punishment.  And Jesus paid that price.  And then he rose up out of that grave.

And that’s not a secret.  That is something I will shout from the rooftops.  Jesus loves me and I love him!  Thank you Jesus. Thank you.




Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash




Social Media is a time suck

Got your attention, didn’t I?  I had a friend that posted the following on Facebook this morning:

If all people claiming to be followers of Christ read their bible even half as much as they read Facebook….what goes in must come out

I am convicted.

I am on Facebook entirely too much to be in a healthy relationship with God.  I’m going to follow Dale’s example and try not to be on Facebook as much.  I don’t know if I will be successful in my attempt, but I’m going to try.

What does that look like?  Well, deleting the app from my phone so that it’s not the first thing I turn to in the morning, mid-morning, afternoon, evening, before bed.  It’s only checking Facebook if I’m on my laptop.

It’s putting my Bible app in the place that Facebook used to be and turning to it, first.  It’s taking the opportunity to read my Bible instead of Facebook.

Reasons I love Dale:

194.  He is very supportive.
195.  He is family oriented.
Example for 194 and 195:  My little sister asked me to come help her out for a few days.  He didn’t hesitate in telling me to go.
196.  He is caring.  He’s having a bit of trouble at work with a co-worker, and it’s primarily because he doesn’t want to hurt the co-worker’s feelings.
197.  I love the way he starts randomly singing in the middle of nowhere.
198.  His complete lack of attention.  We’ve been talking about Winterjam being the same weekend as Boo’s birthday, and about Princess’s boyfriend, Prince and his family coming for Winterjam, for probably a month.  But when I reminded him about it today, he had no clue.  It frustrates me, but it’s also part of who he is, and I love him for it.
199.  And his complete attention to detail.  He works really hard at work and makes sure the little things get taken care of.  Sometimes, because he’s the only one who takes care of them.
200.  He loves his mom.  That means a lot to me.

If you have read this far, I have a favor to ask of you.  If you could, please pray for my little sister Amber and her wife Andra.  Andra has breast cancer and is having difficulties with her chemotherapy treatments.  She’s in the hospital right now with a pretty severe infection.  I’m headed down tomorrow to give Amber a bit of break with the baby.  Thank you.



I feel like I live most of my days in a constant whirlwind.  I didn’t post on Thursday, because Dale and I spent all day together, side-by-side.  I didn’t want him to know about my super secret project.  lol.  Yesterday, Friday, I went from work, to the church building, to the grocery stores, to home.  I didn’t sit down (other than driving) from 7 until 3:30.  Then when Dale got home, he needed to decompress, but we were still trying to celebrate anniversary, so we went to dinner, and then just kind of hung out the rest of the night.  This morning, I went to Target and then to the post office, and now I’m sitting at my computer to try to catch up to myself before we leave for our D&D session tonight.

Whew.  I’m tired just typing all of that out.

But I love my husband.  I love the life that we’ve built together.  I’m trying to enjoy every moment that we have together.

Reasons I love Dale:

180.  He’s smart.  He doesn’t think he is, but he is.
181.  He’s a good teacher.  If he can take a complicated subject like ports and DNS servers and break it down to where I can understand it, then he is a good teacher.
182.  He’s pretty patient.  I can’t count the number of times that I’ve thrown a fit about something, and he’s loved me in spite of myself.
183.  He likes to laugh.  I love how the corners of his eyes crinkle when he’s laughing.
184.  He loves to sing.  He doesn’t do it as much as he used to, but he still has a beautiful voice.
185.  He’s willing to share cooking duties.  He doesn’t mind it when I ask him to help with dinner.
186.  He’s got a pretty good imagination.  He has worked for months on our D&D campaign.  And the characters he comes up with are incredibly funny.
187.  He loves God.  More than anything, this is the most important to me.  He loves God.
188.  I know this is a family oriented blog, but honestly, he’s sexy.
189.  He is a hard worker.  After we get home tonight, he’ll actually be up the rest of the night working on IT issues for his company.  And he will make sure they are done correctly, because that’s who he is.

Alright, it’s getting close to time for us to leave, so I need to wrap this up.  I love my husband.  We had a good anniversary.



I didn’t forget

Well, I almost forgot.  It’s been a long day.  I went to a career fair that was sort of a waste of my time.  I finished a whole section in my studies.  I did the dishes.  I got my daughter to register to vote.  It’s been a long day.

Alright, time for a little Bible study.  The verse is Isaiah 43:18-19.  For tonight, I’m going to start with the New Living Translation.  I generally use NIV, but I like variety.

18 “But forget all that—
    it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
19 For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

And we’re going to just start with the very first part.  “But forget all that.”

Well, you know what?  We can’t start with verse 18.  We need to go further back.  In verses 16 and 17, the Lord is talking about the things He had done for Israel before, such as parting the Red Sea and drowning the Egyptians.

But in verse 18, He directs us to “forget all that.”  The rest of the passage goes on to talk about He’s going to do even more for us.  But what do we need to forget?

You know, I want to forget every time I’ve yelled at my kids, or Dale.  I want to forget every time that I’ve had an unkind thought.  I want to forget every time I’ve had a broken heart.

But I don’t want to forget the beauty of the sunrise or the sunset.  I don’t want to forget the miracle of the birth of my babies.  I don’t want to forget any of the wonderful and marvelous deeds of God my Savior.

But He’s going to do something more.  I just know it.  I feel it in my bones.  God ain’t finished yet.

Reasons I love Dale:

168:  He is overwhelmingly caring for me.  If I’m sick, he wants to take care of me.
169:  He’s actually a very good cook.  He made chicken for dinner tonight.
170:  He’s ridiculously smart.
171:  He has a good voice.  I love when he sings tenor.
172:  He always takes a moment or two to talk to me during the day, even just through text messages.
173:  He will take time when he gets home to talk to me about the day. It’s becoming one of my favorite parts of the day.

Okay, that’s all I have for tonight.  I’m a bit sleepy.

And does anyone have any suggestions for our anniversary?  We haven’t got anything set in stone, other than we both have the day off.  I don’t want to do just dinner and a movie, because that’s what we always do.  So, I’m open to suggestions.  Thank you.


Again, thanks to Michelle of M. Smith Portraits for our couples pictures.