Wow. I found myself thinking these exact words earlier today. “Dale, you will never fully understand my depression and how I feel right now.” And then I read this article. What a reality check!
After all, my mom told me less than six months into my marriage, “Men are not mind readers, don’t expect Dale to be any different. You have to communicate.” And I’ve tried, really tried, to communicate my feelings and thoughts.
Except lately. Lately, it just seems like everything is dark and hard to bear. But the challenge has been given. I must find a way to communicate to him so that he will understand entirely.
“Dale, this depression feels like having your entire box of Magic cards being soaked with dishwashing soap, but it also feels like not knowing what cards you have.” Or…. “When you were overseas, and lonely in the middle of the night, and couldn’t see the stars because of all the light pollution… that’s how I feel. I feel like I can’t see anything because it’s so dark but also crowded out by the distractions of life, and I feel extremely lonely in this, because it’s hard for me to vocalize it.”
Or how about, “Dale, you know how you sink like a rock in the swimming pool? What if you were in the deep end and couldn’t get to the surface? That’s how I feel. Like I need a breath and can’t get it because I can’t seem to get to the surface.”
Communication is everything.